i knew it. i knew that God will make a way when there seems to be no way.
At the darkest hour of my life, He made me realised that i never failed to have the greatest friends around me.
people who never fail to make me smile, and to make my life whole once again. im grateful to have Him in me, cos' with Him nothing is impossible.

today is the 21st. and on the 21st of sep night itself, i found my true blessing that was being disguised all these while.
I guess, he made me realised the meaning of life, true care and concern. I may not be the best person out there in this world, but i'll do the best out of me in whatever i do. (:
im inspired to change my inner personality, is because He and he showed me the meaning of love, as they loved me dearly first.


im just so blessed to have Him in me,
and its just all about you, Jesus.

anyone of you find this place familiar? yes, its at the intl building infront of borders.
last night, i finally met up with armyboy, yong, kun, liang's sis and another guy whom i cant be bothered to find out his name. anyway, i tot last night was supposed to be happy want, but it turned out otherwise.
i duno how i felt or supposed to feel, but i broke down upon reaching home. well, i received my b'lated pressie supposedly from yong, but i guess others played a part in the gift too. thanks.. (:
anyway, there was so much thoughts that ran past my mind, i was like wtf am i doing all these while? being so self-centred and stuff like that? and ive been missing out the good stuff in life?!
ha.. anyway, i guess this gift gave me a tight slap on me, waking me up from all these terrible and horrific character of mine!

and i guess, for the time being im staying away from group dating, i need to take a seat back and do self relfection at the same time i guess it'll be better for that "him" to let go of me.


anyway, the below photos are some pages of the book that moved me! (:

the cover page.
next page.

pooh bear..

pictures of 2006.

pictures paint a thousand words.

drawn by mingus.

my partner, kun! (:

these are onli a few pages of the book, i wouldnt reveal the book entire book, cos' in one of the pages, the writer wrote " the writer deserves his rights" lala.. so yup! anyway, thanks a million, mr toh kim han.

went back to sch ytd for make up lesson that i skipped on sat, was pretty hesitated to attend the lesson, but thank God that i went sia, did pretty much revision and stuff, cleared all my doubts! (:

met him after that, did a little shopping. gees.. the bag that i wanted? is currently out of stock. the best thing is when i finally decided to get it, its out of stock. he left his contact with the stuff over at wisma agnes b already. hmm.. but stil, im not eager even if they have the stocks sia, im just afraid that aft a month, it will become an white elephant sitting in my cupboard le sia.

this was suppose to be me. (:

my lousy drawing.

im always on a look out for you......

a brief update for today! (:

skipped school today, cos its sabbath, and i attended service.. met bing yuan for lunch, but wasnt that fun aft all, mood swings occured so frequenlty recently!
left him and headed for home for a rest, met my dear (qing), yingxing, shao feng and shui rong for dinner.
met that someone for movie after dinner!
and... the best part is....im turning in now, ive got sch ltr! and aft sch im meeting that someone again! (:


yanting is happy!

photos updating time! (:

haha.. i know that i will never ever be able to retrieve the orginal photos frm my darling, so no choice but to get her edited ones. ha..

managed to get onli these. cos the rest will be she and her boy le, den i take for what? haha..

sigh. its never a good feeling to reject people, when it comes to relationship matters. sometimes i wonder, why must feeling develop for another when it shouldn't be happening.
some people might feel the satisfaction in them, when they reject one. but i feel totally opposite. i feel devastated that i need to reject one, when, so happen that, he's close to you and once had a great history.

what is this all about? one by one you reject them. its a good thing if they understands you, they love you, and they want you to seek for your own happiness by giving you their inner most blessings and agrees to remain as friends. BUT, what happens if that person doesnt understand what you want, and insists on going into a relationship? you reject him, yes, then he gets pissed off. what happens next? I lost another friend. like what farking logic is this?!

at times, im really forced into a corner, into a situation where i need to do the most folly action that i can ever think of, and by doing that, im losing a friend.
and it seems like, whatever i do, i cant do it the right way.
seriously, i may look strong on the outside, but not on the inside, actual fact, yanting is vulnerable.
i love all my friends, and i dont wana lose any of them, due to relationship matters. its not fair!!!

i need a break folks.
a break from relationships.
i wana enjoy my days with all my friends! (:
im trying my best to satisify everyone, everyone that is around me.
im trying to balance whatever chance i have and seize every opportunity that i have with that person, ( and yes, that includes you, ah how ) cos im not sure, when will i have the next opportunity to be with that person again.

But i know that whatever i do, i'll do it the best out of me.
and if you're still not satisified, im sorry, there is nothing else that i can do to please you anymore.

just leave me alone,
all i need is time to calm my brains down.
its all getting hay wired in there.
thanks.


p.s. to the ppl that im missing, please kindly let me know when will you be free!!
esp. yun and qing.
yong and accompany.
dawnny.
blah blah blah..
the list goes on..
cos everyday, the list of ppl whom i miss is accumulating!

schools' bored.

im seriously getting sick of the lecturer's face and voice. the sight of her face seriously turns me off. im not complaining or whatsoever here la, its just that, i got a feeling that she doesnt have "good feelings" towards me. but, that doesnt bothers me, cos i dun really like her too.

but what really bothers me, is the way she teach, i guess. i cant tarhan her long winded-ness.

at times, i seriously feel like walking out of the lecturer room sia.

anyway, life is stil pretty smooth flowing i can say.

ha.. sch is as usual, so is life.

but i guess, when it comes to R/s stuff, i gotta be selfish. Some ppl out there just told me that my attitude towards them has changed drastically. but i cant help, cos they dun understand the term as " i can onli see you as a friend" which means, i dun have any feelings for them. And if they insists on coming after me, well, i cant stop them either, but if they're going over the limit which i dont tink is appropriate, then im sry, but i gotta be harsh.

i dont wana lose any friends of mine.

BUT, why cant we all just be like friends? whats so good abt being in a r/s?!

right? if i were to give you a chance, then who is gonna give me a chance to repent my mistake that ive done, which is leaving the person whom i loved dearly?

( you know whom im refering to when i said " loved dearly" ) ...

anyhow, what has happened, let it be. im just sad to have lost another friend, who thinks that he'd rather be in a r/s den friendship. im sry den.

to him. thanks for the dinner! (:
it was a splendid evening for me. =D


to her: darling girl, i really hope you'll cut down whatever activities you're having now. i know you're a grown up lady, and i cant stop you from doing anything, plus you're so far away frm me to do anything. yes, if u're in singapore today, i believe i will never allow you to start all these stuff.
but darling, bare this in mind, yr body is the temple of God, if you want Him to be close to you, be close to yr body 1st alright, darling?

i know over there is boring. but that doesnt give you an excuse to start this out alright? pls look aft yrself! so old le, stil need me to nag at you....