buried myself in tears last night when i tried tucking myself into bed.
finally, i cave in to my imbalanced hormones and my ludicrous thinking!
many thoughts raced past my mind, keeping me in a helpless state, only allowing tears to run down my cheeks, and wet my warm pillow.
Imbalanced hormones probably caused me to breakdown, but its just in me.
Whatever i do, i cant do it well. or probably im merely a certain percentage of fuckers in this world that cant get things done well.
taking a look around me, cousins are all married, with baby.girlfriends, dawn, yun and qing, all heavily involved in commitment. Joo hian, Nicholas the impossibles turn out to be possible.. i guess, its just me. me, who is not ready for any commitment. and if theres really a person that allows me to commit completely, he n onli him will be the one.
True, at times we'll assume n hang on to something we long to have. hoping to have miracles happening. BUT, have we ever gave a thought, its close to impossible. its like 99.99999% impossible.. n that very very very Little percentage which we our naked eyes cant even see.
its always when mishaps fall upon you, then you'll realised that you didn't cherished the past, and today you regret for not treating that person with your heart, and you never got a chance to tell them you innermost thought, just because u were occupied and distracted by the surroundings. and when u finally settle down, you realised, youve missed the most exciting moment in life, and knowing well, that theres no way you can return to the past n make up your mistakes. or to even say a "sorry". that little sry, means nth to the other party already. they wun know how to appreciate the word "sorry", and perhaps, come to tink of it, we can just reserve that word for ourselves who had just missed the most exciting part of our life.
sorry, because, u cant enjoy that interesting part in life, sorry, cos u cant have "me" in life anymore.
i do feel the excruciating pain in me, what about you?
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